CHAPTER 5

The weeks that followed were particularly difficult for the family. There were frequent gunshots in the streets and occasional car bombs in different parts of town. The children were rarely allowed to get out of the house, and while Nada was keeping busy helping her mother and playing with Leitifa, Sammy was getting more and more preoccupied with the fighting going on. Every stick he came across became an imaginary gun. Every visitor, a fellow fighter or enemy. He was no longer playing his usual games, and that made the old house very sad. They hadn't had electricity in a long time, and fresh food and water was rare. Sammy often felt his stomach grumbling and that made him very moody. Sometimes he would even get angry at his sister. When Nada was sad, she would remember the story of the strange bird and imagine she was playing outside or doing funny things. She would sing for her baby sister or invent stories for her, but Sammy often refused to play. He was too old for such games, he thought.

One day their aunt Faiza came to visit. She was their father's oldest sister and they loved her very much. Leitifa had developed some form a skin rash that the mother had never seen; she had asked their aunt to come and have a look. As the two women were taking care of Leitifa, Sammy and Nada continued playing their usual games in separate corners of the house. Aunt Faiza observed from the distance. From times to times, Sammy would come close to his sister and push her around as he pretended to be part of some defense operation. When Leitifa was returned to bed, Aunt Faiza went to talk to him. Why don't you play with your sister she asked? Well, she plays a game where she imagines herself in a happy place. I am too old for that I prefer to play war because one day I may have to defend this house. Oh, I see. Said the aunt calmly. I am happy that you want to protect your family it is very noble, but do you really think that pushing your sister around is going to keep her safe? You look so angry my dear nephew. Feelings like pain, frustration and anger only prevent you from being alert enough to take the best decision in a time of danger, and it is that kind of thinking that can keep you and your family safe. Sammy looked at his aunt. I am angry, and I am upset, and I don't want to push Nada around, it just happens. He said.

Aunt Faiza sat down as she looked tenderly into her nephew's eyes. I like the happy place game a lot you know. In fact, I often play it myself when I feel sad. Sammy looked at his aunt curiously as if he couldn't believe that a grown up could play imaginary games. He suddenly felt bad for judging his sister. After all, he was happy that she had found a way to cope with the hardships of the war. “Happy memories are resources that are given to us to help us go through the difficult moments of life”. The aunt said. As I look at you, nephew, I can really understand how you feel. You are like a little hedgehog. Sammy had a movement back. He did not like to be compared to those animals with their bodies covered with spines. Seeing the look in Sammy's face, aunt Faiza smiled and extended her hand towards Sammy, inviting him to sit by her side.

Do you see that little box over there? I gave it to your father when he was about your age. Sammy looked at the small wooden box. It was old, and the decorations on the top had started to fade. From as far as he could remember, there had never been anything in the box. It's empty, said Sammy, he never puts anything in it. To YOU it looks empty, said the aunt slowly, it's because, for your father and I, this box is special. It may look exactly like many other boxes you will see in the bazar, but when I gave it to your dad, I told him to put all his bad feelings inside. Sammy gave a strange look to his aunt. Put feelings in a box? Aunt Faiza laughed as she continued. Yes, and your father gave me exactly that look the day I gave him the box. Do you sometimes feel that you are angry and do not really know why? Like it is just eating you from inside? Sammy looked down as the aunt continued. Do you sometimes feel like an animal in a cage, with so much energy but no way to let it out? Do you sometimes feel the frustration of not being able to do what you want even though you don't really know what exactly it is that you want? Do you sometimes feel that something is burning inside you, and you don't know exactly what it is? Yes! said Sammy. Then take a deep breath and just notice where you feel this in your body. Maybe you feel it like a weight in your heart, maybe it's like a buzzing thing in your stomach, maybe you feel it in your head or anywhere else in your body. When you have identified where that bad feeling is, just pretend that you can open a little door inside of you, take it out, and put it into the box. When the bad feeling is in the box, or the bag or buried in a whole, or anywhere you want to put it, you will be able to focus on happy things again. And if you ever feel that your pain or your anger or your sadness is too big to fit in a small box then just squeeze it in your hands before you put it inside. Then, you will see that the box is much bigger on the inside and can take in all the emotions you want, no matter how big or small.

Sammy was not too sure, but he tried, he felt as if he had a million ants in his body that made him want to move all the time and push people around. He took three deep breaths and realised that the feeling was in his legs, he shook them a little and imagined he was removing all the ants and putting them in the box. Then he felt better, he said thank you to his aunt and went playing with his sister. The old house was happy. Aunt Faiza had given it an idea, and it knew exactly which story to whisper that night.

The hedgehog and the jerboa

Far in the North, in the Rub Al-Khali desert, lived a little hedgehog. Like all desert hedgehogs, he slept all day in his burrow and came out at night, when the weather is cooler, to hunt an insect, a little snake or his absolute favourite, a tasty scorpion. Sometimes, a predator would come and try to catch him, but he would curl himself into a ball, hiding his little head and his little legs so only his spines would show. In the harsh environment of the desert, our little hedgehog was a survivor! Many animals had tried to capture him, but no one had ever succeeded, and soon our little hedgehog had earned himself the reputation of being tough! One night, a jerboa came to talk to him. He was smaller and weaker and only ate insects, seeds, and plants so he was no danger to our hedgehog at all, but our friend was so used to curl into a ball to scare away other animals that he reacted in the same way. He felt really sad afterward because he did not want to be rude to the jerboa, but it just happened! Every time an animal tried to come close to him, even those who meant him no harm, he would curl up and show them his spines. Being tough is nice when you want to keep people away but after a while, our hedgehog became lonely because the other animals soon stopped talking to him. Worse, they were avoiding him completely!

Sometimes, when he was cleaning his burrow or digging on the ground, he would hear them talk about him. They would say things like "beware of the needle ball" or "stay away from the mad hedgehog house". The animals thought that he was bad. Little did they know how sad the little hedgehog was and how soft he really was, inside! You see the little hedgehog was so busy protecting himself that he forgot how important it is to show your soft side to those who mean well and want to help you. He wanted to be the jerboa's friend but how could he? They were so different. The jerboa had a soft fur, and he was covered with spines. One evening as he was waking up, he heard tiny footsteps nearby. It must be the jerboa, he thought. This time, he would be very careful, forget his fear and talk to him. Hello, he said, from inside his burrow. What's your name? Jebi, said a soft little voice. My name is Spiky, and I would like to talk to you said the little hedgehog very quickly as if he were afraid that the words would get stuck in his throat. Just come out of your burrow said the jerboa. The stars are out and the night is cool. The little hedgehog's heart was beating very fast. He wanted a friend but felt shy because of the way he had reacted the last time he met the jerboa. What if he got himself into a ball again, sometimes it just happened… like a reflex, like something you do without thinking about it. He was so used to protect himself he did not really know how to make friends. What if he had nothing interesting to say to the jerboa? Would he make a fool of himself or scare the jerboa away? Would the other animals make even more fun of him? Don't be afraid, Spiky, said the little voice from outside the burrow, just come out.

I am coming, he said walking slowly towards the entrance of the burrow. Spiky was a little bit worried so he took three deep breaths and thought about a friend he had when he was younger. A little hedgehog like him. He had not seen him in a very long time. As he thought about his friend, the little hedgehog felt better, it was as if the memory made him smile from the inside. Full of the friendly feeling, he walked out of the burrow. The sun had just disappeared behind the hills, and there was just a glimmer of pink and orange in the sky. Already, he could see some stars towards the east. The air was fresh, and the desert was completely quiet. The little jerboa was smiling but keeping his distance. I am happy to meet you Jebi, in fact, I wanted to talk to you for a long time but… the little hedgehog looked down, embarrassed; he did not know how to finish his sentence. That's ok, said Jebi, coming a little closer. The important is that you talked to me today and because we can talk now, I can get to know you, and you can get to know me which means that we will not be afraid of each other’s anymore.

I am sorry for the other day, said Spiky, sincerely. He looked at the sand at his feet, too shy to look at the jerboa. I don't know why I reacted like that. Maybe you were stressed or nervous said Jebi. Spiky looked at her. He had never really thought about that. We all feel strange when there is danger around, it's part of our lives, and it's normal. I run, and I hide. You cannot run as fast as me, but you are lucky, you have the best defense system of all the animals of the desert. She pointed at the spines. Spiky observed his jerboa friend for a moment. She had very big ears and long mustaches. Her back legs seemed twice as big as her front ones, and her tail was so long it could easily be confused with a warm. Lucky? These things on my back keep everybody away, the little hedgehog muttered, sadly, touching his spines with his paw. Everybody? Asked Jebi, looking into her new friend's eyes? Well not you, answered Spiky. Exactly, continued the jerboa with a wide smile in her face. It isn't your spines that kept me away but your attitude. I thought you did not want to be friend with a jerboa. Today I know that it isn't true. There are many ways to deal with your emotions just as there are different reasons to be nervous. Spiky listened attentively as the jerboa continued. Defending yourself by curling into a ball is a very good way to deal with dangerous animals, and many of us wish we could do the same, but it is not very helpful when you are shy or bored. Tell me, asked Jebi, were you afraid to talk to me today? Is it why you stayed in the burrow? Spiky nodded his head. And what did you do to gain confidence and talk to me? I took deep breaths and thought about a friend, answered our little hedgehog. Well done! That's a great thing to do, said Jebi. I should try it too. When I am nervous, I like to do something that keeps me busy like digging or running. You just have to learn to react in the way that is appropriate to the situation. You did it today, which means that you can do it again, and again. Spiky felt proud of himself. He had managed to control his nervousness and had made a new friend. The two animals kept talking for a while then went to look for food. They realised that they had many things in common and were not so different after all.

In the nights that followed the word spread that the little hedgehog was not bad at all, and soon he had many friends. Spiky was now a happy hedgehog, and he remained friend with Jebi for a long, long time.